yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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