I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
