I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
