I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
