you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
