I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
