I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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