Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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