She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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