It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
