spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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