loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
