woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
