nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
