You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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