So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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