I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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