we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
