Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize