Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
