Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
