And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
