We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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