I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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