if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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