apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
