Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
