oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
