biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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