you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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