I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
