Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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