i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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