I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
