I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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