There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
