My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
