There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
