the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
