Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
