awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
