4 words: hood of his car
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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