Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Too much gin, very little bucket
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
