where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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