Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
