the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
