the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
