Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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