i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
