..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
