I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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