the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
