Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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