You're my little dorito
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize