i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
