and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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