why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
