you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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