Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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