this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
