No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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