did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
