You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
