I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize