Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
