I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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