Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
