I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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