My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
