well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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