Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
