Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
