He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize