I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
