I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
