i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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