somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
